VGHSLogo.png Ernie Calhoun
Real Name Ernest Calhoun
Gender Male
Occupation Dean of VGHS
Portrayed by Harley Morenstein
"You will not study physics! You will study physics engines! You will not study art! You will study the art of war! You will learn about biology by bathing in the blood of your enemies! Sound good? Well, welcome to VGHS,"
— Calhoun in the VGHS acceptance video

Sergeant Ernie Calhoun is the un-permissive Dean of VGHS and occasional antagonistic force to Brian D.


Season 1

Calhoun initially disliked Brian D, believing him to have gotten into VGHS on a "golden ticket". He also pointed out that Brian was the lowest ranked player in the school.

as of the Season 1 finale he and Brian are on better terms; Calhoun even congratulated him on his victory.

Season 2

Calhoun's now curly hair is a contrast to the buzz cut he had earlier. The fiasco with The Law has brought many changes upon the school: the former FPS Varsity Coach has left the country, forcing Calhoun to make the controversial decision of hiring the wild card Mary Matrix.

It is learned in Season 2, Episode 5 that Calhoun has a kid, which Calhoun describes as a hardcore jerk.

Season 3

In Season 3 Calhoun is viewed by Brian as almost a surrogate father figure, seen when he tries to talk to him about Jenny and their relationship. Later, it is shown that the Barnstormers grudge against him stems from the fact that he refused to let them into VGHS on accounts of them being 12 and then on accounts of them being terrible people. They later buy the school from him and administration, forcing him out. It is revealed that Calhoun's kid is a temperamental 3 year old girl. He later returns in the 32 man deathmatch in episode 6, revealing himself to have never graduated due to his inability to pass gaming history. He inspires the rest of VGHS to join with him and the FPS team to face Napalm. In this match, it is revealed that he is amazing at FPS, as he single-handedly eliminates a squad  of their professional gamers without even using his own guns. He nearly kills Ashley Barnstormer, before Shane stabs him in the back, causing Jumpin' Jax to scream "No!" at the sky and get shot.


Calhoun is very firm and a bit irritable, although he is still fair. He takes his responsibility as head of VGHS extremely seriously, running it in a highly authoritarian style reminiscent of a boot camp and showing no favor towards any student. Though he is apparently given orders by "administration", Calhoun has been known to disregard rules of VGHS he finds unfavorable, such as blockading Brian D from returning to compete in VGHS Clan tryouts in Episode 9 despite the latter's locking himself in the system to compete.


Brian D

Calhoun has a complex relationship with his student Brian D. His initial impression of Brian is that he stands very little chance at his school, and he got into VGHS on a "golden ticket". When Brian is one point away from expulsion after the disastrous FPS scrimmage, Calhoun offers Brian the opportunity to leave the school quietly. He is of course enraged when Brian attacks a fellow student at signups, and expels him. At the Try-outs, Calhoun nearly prevents Brian from getting his second chance, although Brian reminds him of his motto. Calhoun says that he "hates that kid," but congratulates Brian after he wins and makes it back into the school.

Calhoun's relationship with Brian is less antagonistic in the second season, although they are not very close. He seems to be a Father figure to Brian and does not want anyone to know like when Brian gets arrested he drives Brian back to the school also during the student's holiday he tells Brian what to do to gain the forgiveness of his friends but when Brian's friends show up he yells get to work Brian.

Ashley and Shane Barnstormer

Calhoun has had history since Ashley & Shane tried to join VGHS. Calhoun initially denied them admission due to their age, as they were only 12 at the time. Shane attempted to bribe Calhoun with $900,000, which only caused Calhoun to deem the twins as "terrible people", ripping the check in half and banning them from ever entering VGHS. The two later infiltrated the school and managed to buy VGHS.


  • Calhoun is deathly allergic to tuna, being hospitalized after eating it in Season 2.
  • Calhoun was seen in several episodes eating so heavily to the point of overindulgence. It's most likely an homage to actor Harley Morenstein's career in EpicMealTime .
  • Calhoun has a daughter.
  • If it wasn't for Calhoun and an earlier set of students, there would be no Leetmas
  • Ernie Calhoun's character name is possibly a reference to Barney Calhoun, a character from the Half-Life franchise, made by VALVE.


  • Partially a main character to the series being shown in almost all of them in every season.
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